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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
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(Sighs)
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MAN: Hey! What are you
doing in here? Who are you?
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I am Dr. Thomas Chen.
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Do you have an appointment?
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(Grunts)
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Who are you?!
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(Muffled speech)
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Okay, not to be all up in
your business or anything,
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but if you knew you were
gonna interrogate me,
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why exactly did you bother
with the whole gag thing?
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For the last time, who are you?!
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I'll never talk!
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My name is K.C. Cooper and I'm
a 16-year-old government spy.
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My mission was to make copies
of your agent's medical records
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and my parents, Craig and Kira
Cooper, they're kind of also spies
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and we live on 35 Millby
Lane in Arlington, Virginia
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where there's a spare key hidden
under the fake rock in the front yard.
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Anything else you wanna
tell 'em, big mouth?
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Yeah, you left off the fact that I got
a little fungus on my left pinky toe.
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A little fungus? Hmm, okay. (Man shouts)
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(Grunting)
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(Pants)
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Whew!
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I'm sorry, okay?
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I'm not good at keeping secrets.
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Which, kind of reminds me...
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When I was nine years old I kind of
stole all of Ernie's Halloween candy
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and blamed it on the babysitter. She
was a really nice lady, and because of me
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she kind of never worked again,
so I'm tryin... (Muffled speech)
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(Theme music begins)
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♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
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♪ You know I'll stand beside ya ♪
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♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their heads so cool ♪
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♪ I'll always find a way ♪
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♪ A way out of the fire ♪
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♪ But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
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♪ I'm not perfect, so many things I ♪
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♪ wanna tell you, but I... ♪
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♪ I keep it undercover ♪
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♪ Livin' my life on red alert ♪
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♪ Doin' my thing, I'll make it work ♪
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♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby I'm fearless ♪
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♪ But I always got your back ♪
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♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
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♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
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♪ Ain't gotta worry about me ♪
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♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
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♪ I keep it undercover ♪
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♪ I keep it undercover ♪
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No one gets out of that bunker alive.
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Cheeselover12, cover the left lane.
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We need someone on that back exit.
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That's you, hotdogsfordays.
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On my signal, we go.
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In 3, 2... (Toaster dings)
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Ooh, my toasty strudel's done!
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Later, haters.
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Ah! Ah, ah, ah!
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(Toasty strudel hits floor)
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Guys, it is not my fault
I can't keep a secret.
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If you guys were gonna
recruit me to be a spy,
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you probably shouldn't have
taught me to be so honest.
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Good parenting. Bad spy-enting.
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You're all spies?!
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Good going, blabbermouth.
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Why don't you just tattoo the
word "spy" across your forehead?
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Just to clarify, what I'm hearing
is I'm allowed to get a tattoo?
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No. And, before you even ask, nothin'
besides your ears is ever gettin' pierced.
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Son, there's something I have to tell you.
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You're not really allergic to shellfish,
I just like to eat all your shrimp.
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And by the time you wake up,
you won't remember any of this.
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- I don't understand.
- That's the idea.
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God, seriously, keeping
this secret is killing me.
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Why can't we just
recruit Ernie to be a spy?
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Yeah, Ernie? Oh, honey.
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I love him but he doesn't
have what it takes to be a spy.
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Shoot, he doesn't even have what
it takes to make a toasty strudel.
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No, but...
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He is a computer genius.
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I mean, he's beaten every
game he's ever played,
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and let's not forget,
he's got an A in C .
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(Laughs)
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It's a programming joke.
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If Ernie was awake, he'd be laughing.
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Honey, listen. We know how
smart he is with that stuff,
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but the organization is never, ever,
ever gonna allow another teenager.
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You're totally right.
Unless you're totally wrong.
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We could remind the organization that
the average American family has 2.2 kids.
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I mean, we'd be so much more
believable with Ernie working with us.
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Plus, who can we trust more?
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He's family.
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Well... I mean, we wouldn't have
to knock him out every 20 minutes.
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I guess it's worth a try.
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He is our boy.
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And that means he deserves
our love and respect.
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(Strained voice) Let's go.
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(Grunts) Come on, boy.
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Oh!
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Yeah, love and respect.
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Love and respect.
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(Gasps) K.C... (Squeals)
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Guess who is joining
the school newspaper? Me.
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You're writing? I am so proud of you.
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(Both hum a tune)
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So...
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What exac